When a person is born again, they slowly began to notice their attitudes changing over the next few weeks. When I denied I felt something die and, slowly over the next year, I began to notice... When I am on my Loraz it is easier to pray to God and mean it when I ask for Him to forgive me by His blood and death to declare me dead, and resurrected ... Well, PRAY AND WEEP for me that HE will work in my heart, do the impossible, to GET ME SAVED TO THE UTTERMOST! I want it so badly, but, my depraved nature doesn't want that, BUT I HUNGER AND THIRST for it! All my doubt, unbelief, sins... I think I have committed apostasy. I once use to feel His love, but now, I dream about death and my dreams are grey. Last night I dreamed I was watching a frog trying to crawl and it suddenly died and became rigor mortic. MY HEART IS BREAKING WITHOUT JESUS! Is this a taste how Christ felt in the Garden of Eden, ad then on the cross, when He was separated from GOD the Father because of our sins

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